I’ve been physically tired for quite a while now. Emotionally I’ve been pretty drained too. But, it hasn’t been till the last few months that my soul and spirit has been so drained and exhausted and weary.
And I know exactly why.
Its been ages since I prayed. Its been ages since I poured my heart out honestly to God. It’s been ages since my Bible has been opened.
Its been ages since we have set foot inside a church service. Its been ages since my mind and heart have been refreshed and rejuvenated and strengthened from spending quiet one on one time with God.
It’s been ages since I’ve spoken the promises of Jesus over my family. Its been ages since I’ve really relied on those promises.
I don’t think I realized how sustaining a thriving relationship with God is, until I let mine lapse.
I can pinpoint that for me becoming more and more drained and weary in my soul and spirit coincide with becoming less and less preoccupied with praying, reading my bible, and God in general.
For me the correlation is glaringly obvious and I need to do something about it. Because this special needs parenting thing is very hard and I need help. I cannot do it alone.
So very slowly, I am returning to God, to bringing my wounded, exhausted soul to him for healing and rejuvenation and restoration and rest.
I am making His Word a priority in my life again. I am choosing to believe His promises for Champion and my family. I am choosing to saturate my day with positive, mind renewing thoughts of how great God’s love is.
I am choosing to believe again in a good God, a God I can trust, a God who did not inflict my son with a disability to teach me a lesson, but a God who loves my son, who wants to do miracles in him, and who loves him more than I ever could.
I am choosing to rely on a God who I know will equip me with everything I need for this journey I am on. I am choosing to allow Him to relieve my exhausted and weary soul from trying to do this without Him.
And I am clinging to this promise from Jesus:
“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” -Matthew 11:28-29 NASB
Let’s Talk: Special needs parent or not, how is your soul feeling? Do you find yourself refreshed and rejuvenated or exhausted and weary? What do you find helps you to be rejuvenated and what do you notice is going on when you’re more on the drained, exhausted, weary side?