For a good portion of Champion’s life, I’ve allowed discouragement to reign when it comes to getting out and enjoying life with him.
It’s a lot of work to get places with him (Meghan gave a very good picture of what its like here) and sleep deprivation has always been my go to excuse.
The past few weeks though sleep has been getting better around here, which means I have more energy to actually do fun things, things outside of going to therapies and doctor appointments.
For a long time now I’ve told myself that once I started getting more sleep we’d go enjoy life a bit more. Well now that sleep has somewhat returned to our house, I still find myself making excuses.
For too long I’ve been stuck in this place with a discouraged mindset.
Discouraged by Champion’s diagnosis, discouraged by how hard it is to go places with him, discouraged by not having very many friends to enjoy life with (somewhat self-inflicted isolation has been happening here). I’ve been living discouraged by whatever excuse I can come up with at that moment, as I continually decide to let life pass right on by.
Those words stuck with me. The more that I mulled them over, the more I began to hear them as ”I refuse to be discouraged” , the thing that has been holding me back, the thing I need to refuse.
I need to refuse to continue to allow my view of Champion’s diagnosis and the very real limitations that are a part of our lives to dominate and deflate our family’s ability to have fun. I need to refuse to allow discouragement to steal Champion’s childhood from him, and from me. I need to refuse to allow discouragement about the energy and effort having a little fun will drain and take from me to be the deciding factor in my decisions to not participate fully in life.
I need to refuse discouragement.
So this is my new resolve: I refuse to be discouraged.
We will have fun, enjoy life, and get out and about in spite of. We will make good memories together as a family. We will not let life pass us by.
Sure it might take a good amount of effort to get going. Sure, its hard to come out of isolation and build new friendships. Sure it’s easier for me to keep coming up with excuses as to why we can’t than it is to just go and do.
But I’m ready. I’m ready to refuse discouragement, to cast it down every single day till refusing it becomes a part of me, just like deciding to accept discouragement made it a part of me over the last few years.
I’m ready to get out and really enjoy life with this beautiful son that I’ve been incredibly blessed to mother.
This past Sunday evening we had our first successful, unplanned, spontaneous outing as a family. Champion was on a break from his feeding so we jumped in the car and got a yummy decadent treat of frozen yogurt. It was really fun and invigorating I must say.
Even though it was just a trip to get some yogurt, it felt like more than that. It felt like it was the beginning of us throwing off the weight of discouragement that we have been allowing to rule us for so long and instead we were saying yes to enjoying life.
(I really liked this sign and wanted to fit the cherry on top concept in some way so I tried, but this last line is all I could do )
So here’s to refusing discouragement and instead choosing life with all the sweetness of a cherry on top!
Let’s Talk: What thoughts, attitudes etc do you find yourself needing to refuse? How have you dealt with discouragement?
Linking up with: Pour Your Heart Out